We can't tell you to use this thing to do the thing we know you're going to do.
Use this: To avoid that pesky Gary Burghoff (ask your parents)
Don't use this: For the purpose that everybody uses it for (we have to say this).
The SNL episode hosted by this product features a sketch in which: We learn the reason why traffic laws exist and why we should obey them. It's not very funny.
When this product doesn't want to go to dinner with you, it uses this excuse: "I'm in a real rush."
In 99.9% of uses, this doesn't: Give you a long-winded lecture about how radar works by harnessing the Doppler Effect.