If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge the IRS.
Well if you aren't the sorriest excuse for a white-collar criminal that I've ever seen, then my name isn't Peaches O'Hannegan. (It's not, actually. It's Ann Smith. What can I say? My parents weren't very imaginative.)
There's no way a delicate little flower like you would ever make it in the joint. So listen up, cuz old Peaches is gonna help you out. Why? I don't know. Guess I just like the look of ya. Stop asking questions.
So here's what we're gonna do. As far as I can tell, you have a few options. I like to call them the Three S's of Tax Evasion. 1. Suicide. 2. Skip Town or 3. Suicide.
Listen, kid. That's my advice. Take it or leave it. Is it my fault that you didn't just get the NeatReceipts Mobile Scanner to keep your records straight? Would have made it a lot easier on yourself when Uncle Sam comes kickin' down your door.
A-holes and excuses. Everybody's got one. Don't tell me you don't have room for a scanner, because this pup weighs less than a pound. And spare me the whole "I'm too busy" because this thing's built for an on-the-go lifestyle.
What's that you say? Oh, you're just not that good with organization. Now there's the surprise of the century. Well then not getting this NeatReceipts Mobile Scanner sooner was a bigger missed opportunity than I thought. Ya see, the software organizes all of your scanned items for you, and all scanned documents can be searched easily by keyword. Welp, too late now I s'pose.
So what's it gonna be? Which of the Three S's you going for? If it's #1 or #3, well, it was nice knowin' ya. But if it's #2, I know a guy. Just sayin'.