I need this. You don't know how I need this.
Dude. Slingbox. This has been what's missing in my life! More television!
You don't understand. I need TV. Like, to live. If I'm faced with even five minutes of real life, I start to get a cold sweat going. I can't handle the pressure. All this crap with work and taxes and family and stuff is just so stressful and not at all engaging to me. I need poorly-scripted plot lines! I need to see people with artificially-darkened skin and artificially lightened teeth.
What the hell am I supposed to do? Interact with my FAMILY? If I was supposed to do that they wouldn't have made a way to stream DVR programs to my PC or mobile device, pal. This is me. This is who I am. It's not pretty, I know that.