You saw it here first, folks!
Wahoo! We are EXCITED! Can you believe it?? Such an amazing product and it's premiering RIGHT HERE on our website! Ladies and gentlemen, introducing THE TIVO! This rad little box'o wires can do all sortsa wild stuff! Like provide full HD support and record up to 150 hours (XL) of HD programming! THAT'S RIGHT! 1-5-0!!! HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!?!?!
Oh, wait... just getting word now that this is just called the "Tivo Premiere." It's not actually brand new. In fact, we've sold products like it before. And these are not even now; they're refurbished.
Okay, well, great. JUST GREAT! WE TRY AND DO SOMETHING SPECIAL AND THIS IS THE THANKS WE GET!
Chris, call the caterers and tell them to cancel. Lauren, please put the champagne back in the fridge. Derrick, tell the band they can keep the deposit but don't bother showing up. And Liz, deflate the balloons. Yes, all 431 of them. And carefully please. We wanna be able to reuse them in case there's a REAL premier in the future.